| 2015-02-24 04:42:02 +0000 | Sat to pen a short story when my wife handed me over the long list of grocery. Fact,indeed, is stranger than fiction. (Story In Tweets) |
| 2015-02-24 06:34:36 +0000 | ‘Why’s he running, Mum?’ The child asked. ‘He’s a thief, Son.’ Pointing to a white car with beacon he asked, ‘And He?’ ‘Perhaps the reason.’ |
| 2015-02-24 06:38:06 +0000 | She came-She saw-She smiled. Suddenly the 5 year old gleamingly shouted..MUMMY! Daily Scenes only at 7am & 9pm-from office to hospital. |
| 2015-02-26 20:19:20 +0000 | The #SmallTownGuy tag made him wonder- How can ur town be #Small wen an entire neighbourhood came thronging to ur home wen u ran fever. |
| 2015-02-26 20:27:35 +0000 | ‘Why don’t you speak up?’ The boss said after the tongue lashing. ‘I have a family, Sir’ He responded with a smile ?? |
| 2015-03-10 22:19:56 +0000 | ‘I Luv U as the chiffon sarees of a Yash Chopra’ I boasted. ‘Ah! They r colorless’ she quipped. ‘White is also pure my wife’ I smiled. |
| 2015-03-10 22:34:39 +0000 | Rediscovering Love Falling all over again, after 2 kids, for a woman who was once your girlfriend & now your.. Wife! Some fall it is 🙂 |
| 2015-12-03 22:34:20 +0000 | ‘Liar’ she smiled,when he held her hand professing his love,in college.’I still do’,a 80 yr old man smiled on her deathbed,hand in hand |
| 2015-12-09 16:32:56 +0000 | Inspired by Euripides,who said that gifts persuade even the gods,I experimented & guessed 2 things-he may be an Indian&Indians are Gods |
| 2015-12-12 18:34:20 +0000 | Her smiles on FB pics,at her wedding,woke me up to an optical illusion.Did she slit wrist for me,the other day or was her blood,kumkum? |
| 2015-12-14 14:51:48 +0000 | ‘Ship/AirPlane/Train are a safe bet, Son. Delhi road traffic will choke u’, Father said He choked his son`s birthday wish of a jeep. |
| 2015-12-16 14:33:48 +0000 | Divorce due to language barrier ‘The person you are trying to reach is peaking to someone else’ She often heard this, while calling him |
| 2015-12-18 18:20:55 +0000 | ‘Am in bed on business’ Wife disconected my calls wid dis sms ‘Business means a state of being busy-I was on a PPT’ She clarified later |
| 2015-12-19 17:30:28 +0000 | Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way, Let the world please enjoy, what I have to say (A Storyteller’s Christmas Wish) |
| 2015-12-20 19:08:04 +0000 | ‘Is this your handwriting,Dad?’ My son CALLED on receiving his birthday CARD. The Digital age had deprived him of the ink,pen&my touch. |
| 2015-12-21 17:52:08 +0000 | Son: Why book – why not TV? Father: Books lets each create his own visions – A TV forces its own visions on you. TV cages – Book frees |
| 2015-12-26 04:08:19 +0000 | Received a gift today from my wife ?? I didnt know what #BoxingDay stands for (Its when servants would receive gifts from their bosses)?? |
| 2016-01-02 05:35:58 +0000 | We capture nature & bring it home,one vacation. We forget about it,the moment it’s home. That’s what we are/how nature is assassinated. |
| 2016-01-02 15:37:17 +0000 | Dog: We are disliked if we are weak ?? Lady Dog: We are liked if we are weak ?? (PS – Read them as Man/Woman) |
| 2016-01-06 17:47:52 +0000 | Son: Which is the most critical element for #Indians to survive? Father: ‘OIL’. Eg. Food, Body, Career, Relations… Apply Anywhere ?? |
| 2016-01-22 18:17:53 +0000 | Today, after almost 25 yrs, I forgot the newspaper with my bed tea and picked up a book. Felt as happy as a child, quarter of a century ago. |
| 2016-01-25 13:44:24 +0000 | We loved each other, as we loved our kith and kin We wished companionship-our families didn’t The Indian arranged marriage fell through |
| 2016-01-26 15:10:20 +0000 | Son: Why is 26Jan & 15Aug, National Holidays in India? Father: `Cause children get to enjoy holidays only when their elders have toiled |
| 2016-01-27 16:46:23 +0000 | Father:Be ready for the family day at my office,tomorrow.Its important. Son:When was the last time u attended parents-teachers meeting? |
| 2016-01-28 14:48:02 +0000 | Corporate Professional:Can`t pay u more than what u deserve Maid:What would u do if ur employer says so CP:I’ll find another Maid:Do so |
| 2016-01-28 16:40:52 +0000 | Scientist:Do you believe in existence of elements which cant be proved? Believer:Like what? Scientist:God? Believer:Believing is Seeing |
| 2016-01-29 18:22:31 +0000 | Eve (Corporate Professional): Pl support plastic ban. Have discarded them despite a habit of 20 years. Adam (Homemaker): How about You? |
| 2016-01-31 15:55:05 +0000 | Son: Sorry,missed your birthday again.Corporate life sucks. Father: How come I never did?I worked too.Probably fruits outgrow the tree. |
| 2016-02-03 18:31:53 +0000 | Husband:Dear wife,lets party on #Valentine.Only Us:) Kids:We,too! Parent:What about our check-up that day? Dog:Woof!? Wife:U R useless! |
| 2016-02-11 15:41:25 +0000 | Taj Coffee Shop on #ValentinesDay- Lad:Darling,that waiter is watching us since u arrived Lady:Dad wanted 2 see ur status Lad:Ok,Sister |
| 2016-04-01 12:55:43 +0000 | Fond Memories : My erstwhile sweetheart proposed me on #foolsday. She called it personification. Epitaph : She is my wife today. |
| 2016-04-29 18:46:37 +0000 | #Love is #BullShit Even the Bull doesn`t know when it`s to happen. As soon as he knows, he charges but… dumps it once relieved. (Pun) |
| 2016-09-05 17:21:25 +0000 | Girl:#TeachersDay is celebrated to honor their contribution to a field/society.Why is #ParentsDay not so common? Papa:For,its our duty |
| 2016-09-08 19:00:11 +0000 | Son:I want Ray-Ban for my birthday Father:Dont ban the rays.They show the brighter side of life&thats the only way,you can live happily |
| 2016-09-10 23:44:35 +0000 | Judge:No Divorce.Your man gives you all the time he has Lady:Are 90 days fair? J:You should ‘ve thought that before marrying a #Soldier |
| 2016-09-22 22:49:35 +0000 | Its positive. I am negative. I violated her. Now I am infested by it. Its killing me. It wins. Conscience made me donate blood to my victim. |
| 2016-09-25 20:36:35 +0000 | Its behind me. I am behind it. I loved it. It, too. They killed it. I fear it now. I am behind it. Its behind me. My Childhood Innocence. |
| 2016-09-30 02:04:35 +0000 | Duty: I have to be with him, because he likes it. Love: I have to be with him, because I like it. |
| 2016-10-02 02:13:35 +0000 | #Cooking a #Cookkadh on a #Festive #Sunday is #Cathartic More so, being a time-tested natural remedy to cure #Quarrel Don’t #Stalk Can #Mock |
| 2016-10-04 14:43:35 +0000 | Mom: Stay away from sharp objects. They are dangerous. Son: Well, good bye then. |
| 2016-10-11 05:03:35 +0000 | ‘It was yours. You should have cared.’The cop rebuked as I lodged a complaint of my lost cell. She married the other day. I didn’t complain. |
| 2016-10-18 02:10:35 +0000 | Dad: Can`t you be patient enough to administer my medicines, even if getting late for work? I: You taught me – As you sow so shall you reap. |
| 2016-10-19 19:43:35 +0000 | Kanta Bai became an overnight celebrity on #karwachauth She posted ‘Feeling Hangry’ on #FB -got 50K My wife is looking for her replacement |
| 2016-10-20 00:54:35 +0000 | #OneNightStand Wife: Your day is done. #karwachauth over. Am back to #BAU. Okay ji? Husband: Why to Bau ji? Wife: Moron! Business As Usual! |
| 2016-10-21 11:37:35 +0000 | My wife has been ill for a few weeks. We #quarrelled over therapy. Neighbours #stalked. Relatives #mocked. Finally,Retail Therapy cured her. |
| 2016-10-23 09:49:35 +0000 | #Bond #Reboot Waiter: For you, Sir. #PanBahar, Shaken not Stirred Bond(breaks into a jig): Khaike #PanBahar Wala-Khul Jaye Bund Akal Ka Tala |
| 2016-10-24 11:50:35 +0000 | Woman-Is he separating?He slept with his friend yesterday, being with me for 5 yrs Man-Oh!Our son was in an overnight school camp of Class-1 |
| 2016-10-25 12:24:35 +0000 | An #Indian #Navy #Soldier turns 67 on Oct 28. His wife wished to share all her feelings with him, as a gift. She booked for @AeDilHaiMushkil |
| 2016-10-26 12:32:35 +0000 | He is my #father & my #mother shared the #pun & #pain of her life with him, for him @AeDilHaiMushkil 🙂 Its all about loving your parents |
| 2016-11-06 04:00:47 +0000 | #I feel. #We should add to #India Make it ‘WINDIA’ Let #Indians be #We to #WIN as #We than #I as #Individual #Indians. Do #We feel? #JaiHind |
| 2016-11-11 00:15:11 +0000 | #ShoePolish I avoided one though my shoes deserved it. He was a child-same age as mine. I avoided murder. Of another childhood. Of my child. |
| 2016-11-11 16:18:45 +0000 | ‘Hi!Long time?’ ‘I was fired!’ ‘Unbelievable!You were in the top brass.’ ‘Few chaps misused me.’ ‘Now what?’ ‘Watching Being Cyrus for now!’ |
| 2016-11-16 12:20:03 +0000 | On your birthday,if they jingle as ‘Doodh Ki Safedi Nirma Se Aaye..’ rather than the customary one, presume you are too old to celebrate it. |
| 2016-11-25 01:23:02 +0000 | Me: Guests are expected. I want you here. Maid: No. Me: Dont forget, you are a maid. Maid: No means No and when someone says so, you stop. |
| 2016-12-24 23:10:02 +0000 | Mother: You are promoting a myth by secretly gifting our boy in the name of #Santa. Father: I just want to teach him ‘BELIEVING IS SEEING’. |
